First Lamaze Class

Last week, Steve and I had our very First Lamaze Class!

 

The most ironic and hilarious thing was that our instructor was a lady that was in Girl Scouts with me for 7 years when we were kids.

 

When we walked up to her to check in I was like:

 

"Wow. Oh Hey Michelle... How you've been for the last 16 years since I've seen you? Good. That's coolio.  Last time I saw you we were rocking out to Seal's "Kiss From a Rose" and riding a bus to school! So I get to ask you all about labor and my undercarriage now... that will be completely un-awkward right? ...NOT!" 

 

LOL

 

The first class was mostly an intro to the labor process and stuff I already knew and the Moms and Dads "To-Be" airing their "pregnancy grievances."

Mom's	Did/Does Krista Have that?
Leg Cramps	Yes
Headaches	Yes
Morning Sickness	Yes
Weird Nightmares	Yes
Braxton Hicks Contractions	Yes
Fatigue	Yes
Frequent Bathroom Trips At Night	FREAKIN YES! About once an hour now Boo!

Dad's	Did/Does Krista Have that?
Violent Mood Swings	Nope. Never. No matter what Steve says… ;)
Increased Appetite	"What do you mean you only brought me home one cheeseburger?"
Hogs the bed	"Just because you are freezing, blanket-less and have only 2 inches of space doesn't mean I'm "hogging" the bed. "
Weird Nightmares	Yes!

LOL


Speaking of stuff I knew...I knew that Peanut had to fit through a relatively small area, but I gotta say when Michelle demonstrated it with a baby doll and model pelvis ...all I thought was "Awwww crap that's so freakin small!!!!!!!"

And immediately asked Steve if he could be the one to labor Peanut instead.

Wouldn't that be more of a FAIR trade? If us Ladies carried the babies for 9 whole months and the Daddy's pushed the babies out at the end instead?

Much more fair Nature.

Alas, even though Senior Esteban (Steve) is unable to birth Peanut, he has been extremely helpful lately and I love him lots!


He now has new and exciting jobs like helping me put on my socks as I look like this....

"Changing the 5 second rule to 5-10 minutes...."

 

 

 

Excited to see what the rest of the 5 weeks of Lamaze classes bring.

 

Especially since I haven't gotten a chance to really make some good "in-class" jokes yet.

 

One of the Dads actually was a shade faster than me and said "Grab your balls" when we all sat on the birthing balls to practice breathing.

 

I had that joke in my backpocket dangit!

 

 

 

"But did you know that when it snows

My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen
BABY!!
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on a gray"


BTW what the CRAP do those lyrics mean Seal? And do you regret that wind machine? ;) LOL