Nightmare on West 145th Street

With pregnancy comes more hormones and with more hormones comes some things that are just Crazy Shiz-nat!
 
Like, all my weird dreams.
 
FYI right now I'm up about 3-4 times a night to run to the potty because Peanut treats my bladder like his private trampoline, so I have at least 2 dreams I remember a night in between the few snooze sessions I'm lucky enough to have.
 
Here are some of the weirdest (obviously most are nightmares revolving around Peanut):

Peanut the Exotic
Peanut (she) was born as another ethnicity other than Steve and I. When we questioned this the hospital did DNA testing and said she was definitely ours (aka there wasn't a switched at birth situation going on), but she looked absolutely nothing like us and no one ever believed she was ours! 

Peanut the Large
Peanut (she) was born without any pain and I had no recollection of the labor when I held her for the first time. But, she was 18 lbs! So they knocked me out to bring her into the world! Super Mega Baby!


Peanut the Zombie
Peanut (he) was born under-developed super skinny and missing skin in places. Resembling a Zombie. I woke up at 2am with a start and grabbed Steve to remain calm. Ugh.....creepy!
 
 
The Faro Secret Ops Team
I dreamed that my Dad and I were part of the CIA and my parent's house was being raided by "bad guys". They had black outfits, combat boots and were suspended from wires but worst of all each one had a......hat!!

Only bad guys wear hats:
 

Hat= Bad Guy                                                         No Hat= Good Guy  

Darth Vader                                                             Luke Skywalker


 

We defeated them with a variety of awesome fight skills (including "upper cuts") and got them off our lovely manicured lawn. LOL



I'm featured on the cover of Rolling Stone!

With apparently, Barack Obama...

No idea why Barack and I were rocking the cover..

Maybe we were going to start a new band called "Ba-RACKing the Krista"


Get it?


"Ba-RACKing The Krista"

"The shareef don't like it!"

 

"Ba-RACK the KRIS-TA!!"

I try to think of happy things before I go to sleep.

Like imagining I got to attend Hogwarts or practicing accepting my Golden Globe speech ("I would like to thank all the little people... lol") or that I was instantly transported to Candy-Land, everything was completely edible and I never gained any weight from ingesting all that sugar.

But, Alas...

The above crap is what I dream about.

LOL

Peanut's Room Progress

Nana Faro and Grandma Beyer came over last night and painted Peanut's Room for us!

 

(As I am not able to be too near paint fumes and Steve is hard at work on his dissertation...Go PHD!)

 

 

Anyways, they did an amazing job!


Thank you sooooooooooo much Mommies to Stevie and I! We Love you!

 

 

 

Here are some first looks at the color with my crappy smart phone camera!

It's Sherwin WIlliams Lazy Gray. ;)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Did I mention my 30th birthday wish is a new i Phone  complete with 8 mega pixel camera?

Well if I didn't....

 

I wish! I wish!

Ultra MEGA Sound! #2

We went in this morning for our 2nd Ultrasound.

Nana Faro tagged along and had a good time saying medical words like ventricle and um...well I can't remember the rest of the fancy med-y words she threw at the Doc and Ultrasound Tech.


Which is why I'm in Advertising.


Every medical word to me is FIL-LAN-GEE.   LOL.


Doc said everything looks good and wonderful and we couldn't be happier.


Here are some beautiful pictures of Awwwwww our Peanut:

Side Profile

 

 

 

 

Hi Peanut!

 

 

 

 

Mom! I'm trying to sleep here!

 

 

Snoozey Snooze Snooze :)

 

 

Body Movin!

I felt Peanut move last night!
 

 

I have been feeling little tickles for about two weeks, but I wasn't sure if those were bubbles or Peanut swimming round & round.

 

 

Last night though...

 

 

Peanut played the conga drums on my rib cage..

 

 

So that was definitely all Peanut....BODY MOVIN!

 

 

 

"Now let me get some action from the back section!

We need body rocking not perfection
Let your back bone flip but don't slip a disc
Let your spine unwind just take a risk"

"Body movin, body movin
A-1 sound, sound so soothing
Body movin, body movin

We be getting down and you know we're crush groovin!"

 

"Pretty Pushers"

 

Yes.

 

This Exists.

 

 

 

I mean why wouldn't you want to "Push" your little pumpkin out in style?

 

 

Forget Hospital Gowns Ladies.

 

 

Those are sooooo last year.

 

 

 

"Modernize your Labor".


My favorite part is the "opening for electronic monitor placement " "if needed" because I guess you could skip that if you wanted to...



 

L.O.L!!!!!

 

 



Schnickity Snacks

As there isn't much news on Peanut's progress this week....

I decided to put together a list of my cravings. I've always been curious about pregnant lady cravings and usually when I ask people what they craved while pregnant, they can never remember.

So....

Here we go!


Sushi!!!!
Ok Ok...not the raw kind, but my favorite  Shrimp Tempura Roll with avocado, cucumber, and spicy mayo rolled in rice and crunchy Panko Breadcrumbs. I get this at least once every two weeks with a bowl of Miso Soup and a Salad with Ginger Dressing. Num Num Nums!

Fruit
Raspberries, Pears, Peaches, Cantaloupe, Strawberries, Plums, Watermelon, Banana (in smoothies only....I know...I'm a freakin weirdo) 

Buffalo Chicken Sandwich-"Krista Modified"
Every time I eat bar food, I hope to see a Buffalo Chicken Sandwich on the menu. If I do I get really happy and then I modify the crap out of it! Sometimes even if I don't see it on the menu, if I see that the place has chicken fingers, Buffalo Sauce and Provolone Cheese I try to get them to make my sammie my way for me. You win some you loose some with this strategy.

The "Krista Way" Fried Chicken Patty dunked in Buffalo Sauce, Add Bacon, Provolone Cheese, Lettuce, Small bit of Mayo, Pickles and put on a buttered toasted bun.

Dunk in a giant bowl of Ranch.

OOOH Naughty!

Massive Biscuit Attack
One day at about 5pm, I was on my way home from work and I felt like I might die if I didn't eat a biscuit. So I had 3. I guess Peanut loves biscuits. Thank you Popeyes Chicken!

Smoothies
This is also good news! Something else healthy! I've made some Protein Packed Pumpkin Smoothies etc and Peanut loves them.

Whole Milk
I've sort of become addicted. I try to keep it to one glass a day if that, but whole milk taste sooooooo delicious right now!

Donut Sneaky Time

Me: "Leslie I'm going to get "Coffee..."

(Sshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....Pssssttttt...."The Coffee" is really a donut....)

If ladies in my department catch me eating a donut, they will definitely give me CRAP about it. LOL 

They just want me to be healthy for Peanut.

But, I usually allow myself one donut on Fridays to "Treat Myself"!

Don't tell anyone ok?



So, nothing that is strange like pickles and ice cream or anything...

Ew.


Speaking of Food...

I got together with some of my friends this past Saturday night for our September Din Din Club and this is what happens when the rest of my friends get into the wine and I'm dead sober:

Baby Bump Decorations provided by: Aunt Brittney,  Auntie Amanda, Auntie Shannon & Auntie Sarah.


*Note that I had to bite my lip so we could get this shot because I was laughing so hard I was crying.

And I do look quite terrible, but it is too hilarious not to post. LOL

And now for an Encore:

SNACK!
SNACK!
SNACK!

 

CRUNCH!

 

Half-Time Part Deux

If my Pregnancy was a Superbowl Half-time Show....

This is who would perform:

Opening Act

The Black Keys or The Decemberists

Main Act

Arcade Fire

Surprise Guests

Dave Bowie, Rod Stewart, Paul McCartney and Sting come out and tag-team sing with Arcade Fire!

(Yeah.. I'm not linking those guys. If you don't know who they are.....stop living in that box immediately!)

• Hip Hop Dance routine in the style of "Bright It On" (just...ya know.... because)

• Me and all my best friends and family on stage jumping around in matchy sequin outfits.

• A Surprise Flash Mob.

• Finish with a Laser Light and Fireworks Show that spells out Peanut's name while a pool of live dolphins somersaults and sings "So Long and Thanks for all the fish!"

A girl can dream. ;)

 

So long and "Thanks for all the fish!"

"If I had just one last wish, I would like a tasty fish!"


P.S. It's ironic that these posts are Football-Themed as I know almost nothing about the sport, except that Madonna looked like Thor at last year's Superbowl Halftime Show ...

BAHAHAHAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

LOL

Madonna                                                                               Thor

 





But, for Senior Steve....

Half-Time Part Un

20 weeks today!

WOW.

I can't believe we have reached the Half-Time already!

It feels like just yesterday we took that test (Ok 3 Tests....) and discovered we had a Peanut on the way!

But, I shouldn't be surprised it went by so fast...

You know when you are dreading something how time starts to speed up "Like.. Whoa"?

Hold On! Wait for it!!!

Let me clarify...

I don't dread my beautiful Peanut arriving, I can't wait to meet my baby!


But...I am dreading the transportation route he is going to take..........ummmm through me.

I mean I've never been seriously ill or had any broken bones or major surgeries so I'm thinking there is some major OUCH-TASTIC time is in my future and I'm not gonna lie.....

I'm Kinda Scared!

It's a small price to pay to welcome a healthy Peanut into the world and is completely worth it!

BUT..... I definitely don't see anything wrong with admitting that me and my undercarriage are a bit nervous!

However to give some perspective and make myself feel better, I made the following list..


Things that scare me more than giving birth to Peanut:

1. Being attacked by a Great White Shark or a Megalodon (that has somehow survived hidden deep below the sea for millions of years).
I feel confident that my preparation studying Shark Week for the past 14 years has taught me some valuable lessons, but still....Momma don't play that!

2. Zombie Apocalypse!
I'm not in the best shape and I'm terrified of knives, blood and guns.

Krista=Screwed.

Steve has promised to protect me in the event that this occurs, but I'm planning on packing him and Peanut up and taking them straight to to my sister's future husband, Uncle Jarrod...The Cop, instead.

3. Psycho Shower Attack!
Sometimes Steve forgets to lock the door in the morning and leaves me unprotected. After I discovered this, I started to formulate plans for escape from Shower Murder. Let's just say my Lavender Bubble Bath isn't in a metal tin just for decoration....

4. Having to Return to High School
This used to be a reoccurring nightmare of mine. 

Oh God. SO. TERRIFYING.

5. Hannibal Lecter
This actually made me afraid to hear the words "Fava Beans". I know beans can't hurt me, but I'll never eat them. EVER.

6. The Human Centipede (was too afraid to input a link to Wikipedia)
Thank YOU (NOT!) Amy and Brittney for bringing this movie to my attention. The description alone was enough to give me nightmares forever and I hate you.

7. The Garbage Disposal
I will NEVER put my hand down there. EVER. I don't care if the switch is off. What if someone accidentally bumps it back on? Yick.

 

EEeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkk!