Place: Our house. Steve and I are fast asleep.
We receive the following "drunk dial" voicemail. Hilarious-ness ensues....
Thing 1: Hey d*ckhead
Thing 2: Hey a**hole
Thing 1: You're not a d*ckhead I didn't mean that. Ooh I love you.
Thing 2: We're calling you because we were trying to figure out if you want to talk to us.
Apparently not. Because you're a Baby Mama so you're probably sleeping.
Thing 1: You're growing a child so we get it.
Thing 2: Yeah we get it you're harvesting a kiddo. Well wait you're not harvesting because that would mean...hey there's something on your face!
Thing 1: Ok we love you.
Thing 2: We hope you have a good night we love you we miss you.We hope that in approximately 60 days you push out a fabulous kiddo.
Thing 1: You will. For sure. We hope for a speedy push.
Thing 2: You're gonna need a lot of drugs. You're taint's probably going to rip. They going to have to sew your Va-jane-a.
Thing 1: No they don't.
Thing 2: When they tear what it tears what they are sewing? (yes that is what was said. No typo..lol)
Thing 1: It's not your Va-jane-a it's your taint.
Thing 2: What if she tears in the front like Kimbra did?
Thing 1: Ew that's unfortunate. OK love you.
Thing 2: We hope that doesn't happen to you because Kimbra has a very funky...sewage situation
Actually Kimbra looks just like you! You guys would get along great!
Thing 1: Oh My God the cops are here! Gotta go!
Thing 2: The 5-0!
As you can see I had to protect the identities of my inebriated friends and referred to them as Thing 1 and Thing 2.
BTW...the "cops" was actually a pizza guy...LMAO.
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